Six months ago, sweet Nicole took her last breaths. During her 2-year struggle with brain cancer, I prayed hard. I screamed, I begged, I collapsed, I wallowed, I cried and cried and cried… For God to heal her. Never one to bargain with God, I just begged God to make Nicole a walking miracle. Heal her beautiful body, so that she could live a long full life.
One day, I realized that wasn’t going to happen. My prayer wouldn’t be answered…
Throughout the four gospels, there are many stories of Jesus healing sick, crippled, demonized, or even dead people. In most instances Jesus tells us that it is the person’s faith that has made them well, or the faith of the person who was pleading for the healing of another. While the physical healing was the outward tangible that could be seen, the more important healing was the spiritual healing that accompanied the physical.
One day, as I sat on my couch praying, losing faith that Nicole would be made well, I learned that I was wrong. In fact, Nicole was experiencing healing – spiritual healing. My begging and pleading was for the only healing I could accept in my human selfishness and experience. But indeed God’s promise is for spiritual healing. The healing of the heart and soul; the reconciliation with God. It might be a healing we can’t yet fully understand, but Nicole understands it now. And I work every day on trusting God in that.
Six months ago, as I sat by Nicole’s hospice bed telling her how much Jesus loves her, and telling her it was ok to go to Him, I knew spiritual healing was happening right then and there. The grief for those of us she has left behind is immense, even still to this day. But Nicole is well. God made that promise, and through that promise I am spiritually healed too – a little bit more each and every day.